


My Mind's Imagination

by bluejoseph



Series: CANYOUSAVE [3]
Category: Twenty One Pilots
Genre: Distress, Dreams, Established Relationship, M/M, Nightmares, No Plot/Plotless, basically plotless, hurt/comfort?, if you read inspires a rabbit then it's similar to that
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-16
Updated: 2019-06-16
Packaged: 2020-05-12 17:33:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,488
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19233862
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bluejoseph/pseuds/bluejoseph
Summary: It’s not as bad as his last nightmare--he can move, he thinks he can--but he doesn’t want to. More pressuring is the urge to keep his eyes shut tight. Some part of his brain thinks that if he can’t see the creature, it can’t get him.





	My Mind's Imagination

**Author's Note:**

> I probably should've just added this as a second chapter for Inspires A Rabbit because they're very similar, but they're also different. I was in a really dissociated/confused headspace when I wrote most of this so tell me if there's something obviously missing, wrong, or otherwise strange. depictions of violence are not very graphic at all but I wanted to be sure to tag it just in case

He wakes covered in a thin layer of sweat, chilled despite the high temperatures. The blanket is covering up to his hips, but his top half remains exposed, frighteningly so. Tyler is frozen still.

It’s not as bad as his last nightmare--he can move, he thinks he can--but he doesn’t want to. More pressuring is the urge to keep his eyes shut tight. Some part of his brain thinks that if he can’t see the creature, it can’t get him.

His nightmare tonight was filled with darkness. Tyler’s heart raced as he struggled to outpace a beast that knew no boundaries, seemed eerily human in its capabilities. Birds pecked at his feet as he stepped through the hay and beady eyes focused sharply on him as he approached, like motion detectors. Then the monster found him, and he had tried to take shelter, tried to hide. But it had broken down doors, made impossible leaps to reach him. 

The scariest part had been when the monster had abruptly disappeared. Tyler shone his flashlight about frantically, trying to see where it had gone, but the light was too dim. The worst thing, he notes now, trying to breathe, was not knowing where death was coming from. The uncertainty.

Moving as quickly as he can, Tyler pulls his blanket up over him and rolls over, face first into his pillow. If his boyfriend was here, he’d push his face into his shoulder to hide better. If he was asleep, Josh would toss an arm over him to draw him closer, stirred by the movement. If he was awake, he’d touch Tyler’s shoulder gently, asking for permission, before curling his body around him and soothing him in a soft voice.

If, if, if, if only. Josh isn’t home. He went to stay at a friend’s last night, and he’s not due back until morning. A wary peek at the clock tells Tyler that it’s fifteen past four. Way too early.

He knows that if he were to call Josh now, he’d drive home in an instant, but he stops himself and takes a few shaky breaths. He has had nightmares like this before, and he managed through those. Although, Josh was there to help…

Tyler clenches his blanket in his fist. He can do this. It just takes three seconds of bravery, is all. Just three seconds.

He reaches out swiftly, hand grasping the phone on his bedside table and yanking it under the covers. Josh is unavailable, so he’ll try something else.

Being home alone, Tyler doesn’t have to use his headphones, but the small earbuds pressing into his ears is a familiar feeling; it grounds him. Turning his phone on brings back a swath of fright, as the light from the screen is reminiscent of the flashlight, so he quickly clicks on a playlist and shuts it off.

He’s chosen the last playlist he was listening to, remembers sitting in the car and humming happily, stomping his feet a little and tapping his hands on his legs. He’d just had a day out with his brothers, one of the best days he’d had in a while. 

Tyler tries to think of that feeling now, to focus on the rhythmic tones and thrums, but it’s not working, and after listening to a few more songs, he realizes why. His body doesn’t need to be more awake, it needs to be less. He made this whole playlist to grasp the attention of every corner of his brain, but he needs peace now, not stimulation.

He opens his phone for a second and shuts the music off. It’s a bit easier to move now, but he’s still afraid to go back to sleep.

A beeping, suddenly. Sharp, five times, then nothing. Tyler is abruptly paralyzed by the sound. It’s not his phone. 

He waits, scarcely breathing, and then it happens again. Five beeps, quiet and coming from the direction of the desk in the corner of the room. It stops, then starts again, then stops, then starts again. It doesn’t stop. Tyler is petrified.

As scared as he is, he can’t stay here. There’s no chance of him turning the beeping off--he doesn’t know what is making the noise, wouldn’t dare venture in search of it in the dark--so the only other solution is to evacuate. He listens for the beeping, not breathing as he hears it, then breathing once it stops. He just has to wait for the pause between the beeps to leave. That’s all he needs to do.

He listens to the beeps three more times before he finally has worked up the courage. Just as they end, he grasps his phone, along with a shirt laying discarded on the floor, before dashing into the bathroom. He’s home alone, but he locks the door, feeling safer that way.

Too often before, Tyler has spent time locking himself in the bathroom to escape or hide. Especially in his youth. While he was growing up, when he was feeling particularly upset, he would hide in the corner between the bathtub and the wall, slightly lulled by the pressure on his back and the simple safety that comes with being in a small space. Whatever the opposite of claustrophobia was, Tyler had it.

He finds himself in this place now, although the floor is cleaner than the bathroom in his childhood home. Nestling in, he feels a bit better already--he can’t hear the beeping, and there’s a bit of light coming in from the small window, just enough for him to see by. The sun will be up soon. This is good! This is good, this is better. Environment is important to him.

Tyler feels safe enough to try and fix this, now; to put in more effort than just moving to another room. He opens his phone again and opens up Snapchat, taking a picture of the floor and sending it to a group chat he’s in with Josh and a few of their friends, adding a sticker of the time.

Jenna is the only one that replies; the others are likely asleep. Unlike the rest of his friends, Jenna lives in a vastly different time zone and is usually still awake at this point. Tyler explains why he’s hiding and she empathizes with him. Perhaps this is one of his favorite things about her. She doesn’t tell him she’s sorry it’s happening, or give him a list of things he could do to help. Jenna just understands, and knowing that someone out there does takes a great weight off of Tyler’s shoulders.

He talks to Jenna for a while, then goes on Twitter and looks at his bookmarks. They’re mostly nice tweets from his friends and funny threads that he goes through every now and then. By the time Tyler is finished watching a sweet Valentine’s Day video Josh made for him last year, he’s feeling significantly better.

Significantly exhausted, as well. Tyler’s always woken up early, but more like 7AM early rather than 4AM. His legs are sore from being crouched in such a small position, and it feels good to get up and stretch them. He runs his fingers through his hair, gets a drink from the sink, and carefully steps out of the bathroom.

Either the beeping is gone, or he’s too tired to hear it. Tyler barely manages to put his phone on the bedside table before falling into his bed; it’s never been so comfortable and inviting. He pulls his blankets up, presses his face into his pillow, and falls asleep in mere moments.

*

The sun is up and the sky is bright when Josh arrives home. By the time he and Brendon were both awake, Sarah was already in the kitchen making pancakes, so he left their house at about 10AM. He would’ve stayed longer, but he worries about leaving Tyler alone at night. 

Not that Tyler can’t take care of himself, of course. But Josh can’t help worrying that he’ll have a nightmare and wake up without anyone to comfort him and help him out of that dark headspace.

He opens the door quietly, in case his boyfriend is still asleep. Jim isn’t as cautious, trotting into the kitchen happily to get a drink from his water bowl. Tyler is an observant person, so if he’s awake, he’s surely heard the sound of the dog’s nails on the tiles.

But when Josh enters their bedroom, Tyler is laying there, body half tangled in his blankets, with a peaceful look on his face. Josh is quiet as he carefully sets down his overnight bag and plugs in his laptop on the desk, which is beeping due to low battery.

He kicks off his shoes and gently sinks into the bed, next to Tyler, and his boyfriend snuggles into him gratefully. Josh is relieved. Tyler is safe. All is well.

**Author's Note:**

> special shoutout to beyondmythoughts! I love u! so much!! ur comments give me motivation and joy and I am so grateful for u


End file.
